The weekend forcast calls for . . .
. . . a veritable shit-storm. A front of explosive Diarrhea just rolled in about 15 minutes ago, wreaking havok on my office's toilet. Couple that with a camping trip scheduled for tomorrow and the outlook for this mid-July weekend is dim.
Hope is a good thing but it looks like we can expect at least an 80% chance of pressure-washed trees and/or ruined socks.
In related news: I'm pretty sure, as counter-intuitive as it sounds, that lactose intolerance is catchy and somehow airborne. I never had any trouble digesting dairy until I started dating a girl needs Lactaid to even drive through these states. All of a sudden, I can't have a non-fat latte without shredding my insides and lining the toilet bowl with them.
And yes the bathroom I just defiled was the same one my coworker took her soda into.
Now you understand.
posted by Luke @ 3:47 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
How do you feel about interlopers?
You walk about half-way into the bathroom. You look left, "No, those won't do at all." You look to the right, "Maybe, maybe, no, maybe, that one looks good."
You walk in and close the stall door. You turn around to remove your pantaloons, and, out of the corner of your eye, you see ... an intruder. There it is. Just floating there, all smug like.
What do you do?
You could just flush, but somehow that would seem like this diasporic turd has won (that's right, you just compared some left-over poop to the jews being banished from Israel 2600 years ago. Sounds that sounds even more anti-semitic than it should). You could leave, but you've already rejected all the other toilets.
What do you do?
It wouldn't be right to just mix leavings with co-workers. After all, you're not animals. This could've belonged to the girl with the drink. You can't just eat it. Can you? No ... no, that won't do.
What do you do?
Mike Sheffler
Or is there just one toilet? That would be even more of a showdown. I would probably just lie down on the floor and cry until the urge to defecate passes.
Mike Sheffler
A toilet and a sink, nothing more or less. Unisex like Ally McBeal but lacking the bathroom-sink psychobabble.
Hmmm. Doesn't sound like a lot of accommodations. How many people are there in your office?
Wouldn't it be great if I could edit my comments instead of clogging up your entries with addendums? Anyway, I was just writing to note that the last comment was mine
--Mike Sheffler
Damn, I thought someone new was looking at my blog, ahh well.
Yeah, small office, nigh on 10 people.
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